IRL and URL Friends

Friendships are all generally formed in the same fashion: two or more people with common interests or in common situations bonding over these similarities. This can be said both for real, physically engaging relationships and for relationships formed over the internet. Both types of friendships can, and often do, turn into strong, close bonds between people, and will fall apart without contact. The internet relationship, however, is much more fragile than the “real life” relationship.

When an “IRL,” or “In Real Life,” relationship is formed, it can be very easily maintained. These friendships are usually formed at school or at work, and the two parties are able to physically interact on a regular basis. With “URL” relationships, or relationships forged through the internet, this is not the case. The URL relationship is based very much on timing and chance. It is much easier to miss someone online, especially if time zones are a factor, than it is to miss a friend in a classroom or at a party. If a week is spent out of contact with an IRL friend, it is usually easy to make plans with that person or simply call them to make up for the lost time. If a week is missed with a URL friend it can take much longer than a lunch date to catch up with them because of the amount of communication that is required to connect with that, rather than just a smile in passing that can be used in an IRL relationship.

URL friendships require a much more delicate balance of time than IRL relationships do. Both relationships need time and effort invested into them to make them work, but the URL relationship requires a special type of dedication. When and IRL relationship is formed, it often involves slowly getting to know the other person and then becoming close friends with them; it is similar to a piece of space rubble getting pulled into a planet’s orbit, it takes time for the two parties to get close, but once they are they are very difficult to separate. With URL relationships, it is much similar to a shooting star: the two parties get very close very quickly, and if communication is not regularly maintained through regular chatting this closeness fades. While updating IRL friends about what is happening in your life and finding out about theirs is simply a matter of speaking to that person or finding things out through mutual friends, the URL friend requires remaining up to date networking sites such as Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook. Not everything can be said in a Skype instant messaging chat, so it is pertinent to be as connected as possible to websites to discover what friends have been up to without having to type it all out at once.

Handshakes, hugs, and face-to-face contact are luxuries enjoyed almost exclusively in IRL relationships. Though it is possible to meet up with URL friends, it is a rare occurrence that has to be planned out to the last detail. Without this level of intimacy, URL relationships are even more difficult to maintain. The internet friend is often nothing except some words on a screen, a friendly voice in the computer, or a video online. Without the physical element of the relationship, the URL friend can seem unreal and the importance of the relationship comes into question. When the lack of physical interaction is overlooked, however, it is clear that the URL relationship is just as important as the IRL relationship.

Both the IRL friendship and the URL friendship have the ability to bloom into close, binding relationships. There are times when URL friends are able to forget that they live across the country rather than across the street, and times when IRL friends feel as distant as if they lived across oceans. Both relationships have the power to change those involved in them and to make a lasting impact on each other’s lives. They both require sacrifice, communication, and endless supplies of effort and connections. As with the IRL relationship, URL relationships are a matter of time balancing and really getting to know the other person. Though both are trying and are not guaranteed to last forever, they both have the potential to turn into life-long friendships.

-Rachel (: